But there's one that's quite forgotten,
One whose charms they fail to see;
Yet in my abject devotion
Fairest of the fair is she.
There's not one half so entrancing
Or so makes my poor heart thrill--
It is Martha Washington's picture
On a bright one dollar bill.
J. P. SAWYER.
_Yale Record_.
~The Diva.~
Gone are her bird-notes, thin she sings, and flat,
Enough to craze Concone or Scarlatti.
Where once she made our hearts go pit-a-pat,
To-day, alas, they only pity Patti.
S.F. BATCHELDER.
_Harvard Lampoon_.
Mathematical.
In Vassar's halls a tutor young,
'Tis said, once met his fate;
He taught her in the Calculus
To differentiate.
They're married now--at meal-times oft
Discord invades their state;
For he has found that she with him
Would differ when she ate.
_Lehigh Burr_.
~She Still Wins.~
He had worn a colored blazer on the Nile;
He had sported spats in Persia just for style;
With a necktie quite too utter,
In the streets of old Calcutta,
He had stirred up quite a flutter for a while.
The maids of Java flocked before his door,
Attracted by the trousers that he wore;
While his vest, a bosom-venter,
Shook Formosa to the centre,
And they hailed him as a mentor by the score.
On his own ground as a masher, on the street
He outdid a Turkish Pasha, who stood treat;
He gave Shanghai girls the jumps,
And their cheeks stuck out like mumps
At the patent-leather pumps upon his feet.
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